The Space Alien tries a Rebounder!

The Space Alien returned from an intergalactic mission with a backache! 

Carrying heavy luggage and sitting in an uncomfortable economy seat while traveling at velocities exceeding the speed of light in the superluminal rocket was hard on the Space Alien.  In fact, the Space Alien was aching all over!

Your editor thought exercise on a rebounder might relieve tight, aching joints and muscles and the Space Alien agreed to give it a go.  



Here is an exclusive photo taken with the Space Alien's special time lapse camera. 

Loyal Readers can clearly see what a good time the Space Alien is having!

The Space Alien's impressive lymphatic system was activated, and nourishing fluids moved through the Space Alien's athletic body.




When the Space Alien had finished a few hours of jumping Your Editor decided to try it herself!

At first Your Editor (who coincidentally had a backache too) felt like this:  

But after a few good jumps, she felt like this! 

"Why, we both feel lots better already!" exclaimed Your Editor.  "Agreed," said the Space Alien, "and I'm writing this up right now for the Health Column of the Space Alien Gazette!

And here, Loyal Reader, is a link with some great articles on rebounding for specific purposes, from the makers of the Space Alien's (and Your Editor's) favorite -- the Bellicon Rebounder!

https://www.bellicon.com/us_en/benefits/research

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The Space Alien Prepares for Thanksgiving 2019

Thanksgiving 2019 will be a busy one for the Space Alien.  So much to do, especially since Your Editor has not been performing customary tasks at her usual warp-speed efficiency.  

But never fear!  The Space Alien insists Your Editor will not lose her job at the Space Alien Gazette, as her help is still needed with spelling and punctuation.

The Space Alien is making a list of things to be thankful for, and urges Loyal Readers to do this too!  

Here's the the beginning of the Space Alien's list:

Your Editor is thankful that she will be with her family for Thanksgiving, and she and the Space Alien and the entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette wish all our Loyal Readers a peaceful and loving Thanksgiving.  

The Space Alien Addresses the Newspaper Ban

Hallowe'en was approaching and Your Editor asked the Space Alien about this year's costume.

"This Hallowe'en I'll be dressed as a United States Senate Page!" announced the Space Alien.  "In fact, I'm even working undercover right now disguised as a Senate Page in Washington, D.C.!"

"What?  Who appointed you, and why?" 

"Several Washington officials who preferred not to be named asked me to serve and I'll be on a special mission for them."

"What do you mean?"  

"Well, you know the President has banned government subscriptions to the New York Times and Washington Post."

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/10/donald-trump-times-post-subscriptions

"Yes," said Your Editor, "I read about that!"  

"So, with my easy access to federal buildings disguised as a Senate Page,  I'll be carrying the usual load of documents, but hidden among them will be copies of the New York Times and Washington Post.  And I'll also have flashlights for White House staffers who prefer to take no chances by reading their copies secretly in bathroom stalls!"   

"You will be very convincing!" agreed Your Editor, examining the Space Alien's disguise as a Senate Page.  

The Space Alien, cleverly disguised as a 
Senate Page, brings the New York Times & Washington Post to Federal buildings where subscriptions were recently banned.

"I thought so too," said The Space Alien. "And this will be a twofer because besides smuggling these major newspapers of record to places that may no longer receive subscriptions, I can wear the same costume and go dressed as a United States Senate Page to Hallowe'en Parties as well!"

"Very practical," agreed Your Editor.

And so, Loyal Reader, if you attend any Hallowe'en parties and encounter someone dressed as a United States Senate Page, that is likely to be the Space Alien!  Just ask, and perhaps there will be an extra copy of the New York Times or Washington Post for you as well!  

All of us here in the unbelievably busy offices of the Space Alien Gazette wish our Loyal Readers a Happy Hallowe'en!  

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Editor's Note:  Your Editor would like to remind Loyal Readers that when you read the Space Alien Gazette you may not even need the New York Times or Washington Post.

Editor's Note: A Loyal Reader asked about the real Senate Page who let the Space Alien wear her suit as a disguise.  We are happy to report that she was able to take the day off, put on a pretty flowered silk dress and join friends for lunch at American Café near the Capitol. 

The Space Alien Masters the Amsler Grid

Your Editor was upset because her vertical blinds were warped and not hanging straight.  "This is really a nuisance," she exclaimed.  "It will be expensive and inconvenient to get new ones."

The Space Alien took a look and said  "There's nothing wrong with those blinds!  You'd better see an eye doctor!"

That sounded ridiculous to Your Editor, but to put an end to the argument she went to see her eye doctor who immediately referred her to an excellent retina specialist,  Dr. Timothy Flood.

Dr. Flood handed her a card imprinted with a black and white grid with a dot in the center. This was an Amsler grid.  He asked her cover one eye and to focus the other eye on the dot in the center,  and asked her if the all lines on the grid were straight.    

"NO!" answered Your Editor.  "Some lines are crooked.  This is a defective drawing!  You should not be using it!" 

"The lines are perfectly straight," said Dr. Flood, "but you have a condition called Macular Degeneration that makes some of the lines appear distorted."

You, Loyal Reader, may read more about this here: 
https://www.macular.org/amsler-chart

Then Dr. Flood examined the Space Alien's eyes.  The Space Alien easily passed the Amsler test and Dr. Flood remarked that this opportunity to examine the Space Alien's eyes was one of the high points of his professional career.  

Your Editor, however, now regularly receives shots in her right eye to treat Macular Degeneration.  She notes that while the Amsler grid she is asked to look at is still defective, it is not getting worse!  

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Note:  The Space Alien would like to remind Loyal Readers that they could try the Amsler Grid test above, covering one eye and focusing the other on the dot in the center.  If any lines appear wavy, it would be a good idea to consult an eye doctor.

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The Space Alien Welcomes 5780

Your Editor found the Space Alien surrounded by newspapers from all over the world.

"What are you doing?" she cried.  "Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown September 29 this year.  That's this Sunday evening!   I thought you would be baking a honey cake or practicing your shofar, as you always do at this time of year!"

The Space Alien looked up sadly.

"I know, but I'm so worried about something else!"

"What is that?" asked Your Editor.

"You know that Rosh Hashanah celebrates the Creation of the World, a wonderful world, with so much beauty and life-giving support!"

"Of course," answered Your Editor.  "And you have reminded us of this before!"  

And here, Loyal Reader, if you have mislaid it, is an example:  

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/09/a-new-year-for-space-alien.html

The Space Alien continued:

"Now I'm reading that because of Man's thoughtlessness, we may be destroying our life-giving world!"

"What do you mean?" cried Your Editor.

"Well, you know I've been concerned about Climate Change for a long time!"

"I know!  You nearly left Earth for good because of that, but you decided to stay and fight it."

https://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2019/03/the-space-alien-considers-move.html

"Well, it's much more serious than I thought even then!" said the Space Alien.  "And I'm not alone in this!  On September 20, young people (and many of their elders as well) marched in cities all over the U.S. and all over the world to call attention to the devastation resulting from this man-made disaster.  I did all I could to support them."  

https://news.yahoo.com/skip-school-strike-students-across-114236428.html


Your Editor shook her head.  "You know that some people think that Climate Change is just a hoax!" she said.

"Sad but true," answered the Space Alien. "But overwhelmingly, responsible climate scientists understand that this is a very real threat and some believe that we may even have passed a point of no return." 

The Space Alien scurried to a nearby computer and quickly found more information about Climate Change in hopes that Loyal Readers would do so as well.  

Since many Loyal Readers may spend time in thoughtful reflection over the next ten days, here are some more sources that might be of particular interest:  

1. Climate Change; a Jewish Issue:  
https://www.jpost.com/Jerusalem-Report/Climate-change-is-a-Jewish-issue-597230

2. Published for a different occasion but equally applicable here:   https://orjewishlife.com/SHOULD-AVERTING-A-CLIMATE-CATASTROPHE-BE-A-JEWISH-PRIORITY-ON-TISHA-BAV/

3. How could we invest our resources?  One example:
https://www.jta.org/2018/04/17/united-states/brooklyn-synagogue-pulls-money-chase-bank-promote-climate-change-will-others-follow-suit

4. Concern in Israel today:
https://www.jta.org/2017/06/02/united-states/israels-government-is-right-wing-but-its-taking-climate-change-seriously

5. Innovation in Israel:
 https://www.israel21c.org/tel-aviv-museum-explores-creative-answers-to-climate-change/

"What a meaningful list!" exclaimed Your Editor. "You truly did a mitzvah compiling it!"

"I tried my best," answered the Space Alien.
"And, this year, in addition to reflecting, as I always do, on how I can be a better, kinder, more helpful Space Alien, I will also consider how I can do my part to keep this wondrous creation, our planet Earth, safe and livable!"

The Space Alien, Your Editor, and the Entire Editorial and Production Staff of the Space Alien Gazette wish You and Your Dear Ones a Good, Sweet and Healthy Year!

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The Space Alien Bids Farewell to Summer

As summer draws to a close the Space Alien enjoys sailing on Long Island Sound where crowds of spectators gather on the shore to watch yacht races where the Space Alien excels as skipper at the helm of a specially designed schooner.       

The Space Alien also loves to frolic in the waves!   When open water seems too tame, the Space Alien scurries to Chicago's Art Institute for more exciting adventures in the surf!

But there is nothing more refreshing than a relaxing sunset swim off Chicago's fashionable Oak Street Beach!

The Space Alien hopes Loyal Readers -- whether boating or swimming -- have enjoyed many delightful days on the water this summer!  

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The Space Alien at Chicago's 2019 Air and Water Show

Once again the Space Alien participated in Chicago's famed Air and Water Show, held this year on Saturday and Sunday, August 17 and 18.  

Cloudy weather, rain and even thunderstorms on Saturday did not deter the brave Space Alien and the other participants in this amazing spectacle.   

This was the scene last year, when huge crowds used umbrellas as sunshades.  

This year a sparser crowd assembled, as seen here at popular Oak Street Beach.  Low clouds were visible against the background of the majestic John Hancock Building, and umbrellas offered little protection from rain.

This in no way dampened the spirits of those
watching this show and eagerly awaiting the Space Alien's appearance!  

Early in the show the Space Alien tried out the new USAF F-22 Raptor.  You can see this amazing plane in action here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVPQiadgnl8 

The Space Alien was invited to assist the Raptor pilot in the cockpit during this act.  While security concerns prevented this from being photographed, the Space Alien was able to find more information about this astonishing aircraft. 
https://www.airplaneupdate.com/2019/04/lockheed-martin-f-22.html 

The Space Alien was so impressed with the performance of the Raptor that upon learning that the purchase price was just $120 million urged your Editor to consider this, saying:  "Just think how much more efficiently we could deliver the news!"  

Your Editor was dubious, but still appreciated the Space Alien's concern for getting this publication to our Loyal Readers as efficiently as possible!

But there was even more excitement to come!  Once again Sean Tucker performed amazing stunts in his plane, Oracle. 

Here is an example of Sean Tucker's act: 
https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=aaplw&p=video+oracle+chicago+air#id=17&vid=6bc5279a3de62fbad052ec24d9dc8975&action=view 

And here is the Space Alien participating in last year's show! 

This year, at the request of Mr. Tucker, the Space Alien did not ride on the wing but flew alongside during Tucker's maneuvers. 

(Your Editor believes Mr. Tucker's request had to do with the Space Alien eating lunch in mid-flight last year, spilling crumbs and kombucha all over the wing!)

Later in the show the Space Alien thrilled the crowd in a specially designed aircraft: 

First the Space Alien flew right side up! 

And then, to the cheers of the crowd, the Space Alien flew upside down! 

This daring act has deservedly become one of the most popular at Chicago's Air and Water Show!  

(Loyal readers may recall pictures of this act from years past, as not much changes from year to year at this Chicago summertime tradition.)

We'll look forward to this exciting event again next year! 

To visit previous articles about this exciting show:

2018:

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2018/08/the-space-alien-joins-2018-chicago-air.html

2016:

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-air-show-comes-to-town.html

NOTE: Thunderstorms may delay or even prevent the opening of this show on Sunday, August 18.  But in any event the Space Alien wants loyal readers to have this special 2019 Air Show issue!

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The Space Alien Honors the Moon Landing

This weekend the Space Alien honors the brave American Astronauts who were the first men on the Moon fifty years ago. 

Loyal Readers, especially younger ones, can read more about this in many places, including:  https://www.space.com/16758-apollo-11-first-moon-landing.html

The Space Alien traveled independently at a respectful distance from the Apollo 11 spacecraft carrying U. S. Astronauts Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin to the Moon.  

While not qualifying as an astronaut, the Space Alien was proud to have been included in this historic event, as shown in this photograph, exclusive to the Space Alien Gazette.

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Note: A Loyal Reader reminds us that Lieutenant Armstrong was famously taciturn after his journey, and suggests that it is therefore not surprising that he never mentioned the extra subject who snuck* into one of his previously unprocessed photos, and further notes that nobody ever asked.   

And this same Loyal Reader also found it not surprising that Buzz Aldrin, always focused on the task at hand, noticed nothing but the flag as he saluted!

This is why Your Editor recommends that Loyal Readers rely on the Space Alien Gazette as their most reliable source of unreliable facts!  

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*Loyal Readers questioning the use of "snuck" as the past tense of the verb "to sneak" can explore this important grammar point here:

https://www.dailywritingtips.com/sneaking-up-on-snuck/   

While Your Editor remains uncomfortable with "snuck" she will leave it stet.