The Space Alien's Valentine's Day Attraction

Space Alien Exclusive Photos

The Space Alien wishes to reassure loyal  readers frightened by the meteor streaking across the midwestern sky early February 6.   For videos click here.  For local reporting click here.   

The Space Alien took these videos and kindly shared them with the media.  

The Milwaukee Art Museum
Takes Flight

The Space Alien sincerely regrets this incident resulting from a foul committed during the Interplanetary Meteorball Super Bowl.  The offending player was benched for the remainder of the game, but the errant celestial body streaked dangerously close to Milwaukee.

Fortunately no harm was done to that city, which the Space Alien loves to visit, especially to witness the daily takeoffs (click here) and landings (click here) of the magnificent Milwaukee Art Museum.

Sensing the danger, our ever-vigilant and extraordinarily athletic Space Alien scurried immediately to Wisconsin just in time to deflect this hurtling ball of destruction to a harmless landing in Lake Michigan.

Space Alien's baseball skills 
save the day!

But far more important matters now occupied the Space Alien.

Valentine's Day was at hand!    The Space Alien was invited to lots of parties, and, thinking a new outfit might be nice, decided to check out the shops on Pluto.

Exclusive Space Alien photo
taken on approach to Pluto 

The Space Alien had been heartsick years ago when Pluto was demoted from planetary status. (To learn more about this, click here.  ) "I hope my visit boosts Pluto's morale," thought the Space Alien, traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light and sadly musing on the expungement of this plucky planet from the planetary roster.

Upon landing on Pluto, however, the Space Alien felt pulled in a totally new and unexpected direction!

Resisting at first, the Space Alien soon became exhausted and fell into a deep sleep on a special tiny personal travel pillow and enjoyed a series of extravagantly wonderful dreams.

                                                     

Time Passes while the Space Alien Sleeps!

The Space Alien was astonished to awaken in a strange new place!

Checking Google Maps on a smart phone, the Space Alien saw that this was "Planet 9."

"So this is the famous "Planet 9," thought the Space Alien.  "I've read about this giant planet and how astronomers know it is there without actually seeing it because of its powerful gravitational pull.  Now that I'm here, I somehow feel SO attracted to it that I think I may never want to leave!"

The Space Alien (using an extra long "selfie" stick) snapped this picture Planet 9 in the Solar System and generously donated it to the great scientists at Cal Tech.

Then the Space Alien Googled an article to read about Planet 9. To see it, click here.

But duty called.  So the Space Alien stuffed plenty of souvenir dust from Planet 9 into a Space Alien Power Tote Bag, and gave a mighty liftoff heave, returning to the Space Alien Gazette, only to be  surrounded by reporters, editors, photographers, artists, Linotype operators and delivery couriers, all trying get closer to the Space Alien.

Staff of Space Alien Gazette
Crowds around Space Alien

"They all seem so attracted to ME!" thought the Space Alien.  "I wonder why?"

The Space Alien thought deeply about this, and decided that the attraction must have resulted from the the bag full of souvenir dust from Planet 9.  The Space Alien thought "If Chanel can have Chanel No. 5 Perfume then surely I can have Planet No. 9 Perfume that would render its wearers irresistibly attractive!"

Chanel No. 5

 

Planet No. 9

A few phone calls later and the Space Alien had found a perfume manufacturer.

Soon thousands of bottles of Planet No. 9 Perfume loaded with planetary dust were tumbling off the assembly line and the Space Alien's phone was ringing off the hook with orders from shops all over the world!

Learned Astronomers learning of this flocked to the offices of the Space Alien Gazette and tried to convince the Space Alien that it was the huge size of Planet 9 that created gravitational pull that the Space Alien had experienced as an almost irresistible attraction, and not some planetary dust.  

The Learned Astronomers 
Covered the Space Alien's Walls

The Learned Astronomers gave the Space Alien an article to read about this (and you, loyal reader, may read this very same article here.)  Then they proceeded to cover the Space Alien's walls with  mathematical equations illustrating their views.

The Space Alien read the article carefully, examined the mathematical equations thoroughly, and listened politely to the Learned Astronomers, who, in turn, thanked the Space Alien profusely for the samples of dust from Planet 9 that the Space Alien gave them to take home. 

The Learned Astronomers further explained that it was probably not this planetary dust in Planet No. 9 Perfume that attracted so many friends, but more likely the Space Alien's kind and caring heart.

The Space Alien shyly asked if perhaps having a brilliant mind, a sparkling sense of humor, and extraordinary good looks had to do with this attraction as well.  The Learned Astronomers agreed that this could most certainly be the case, and then departed for their observatories.

Now it was time to prepare for some wonderful parties!

The Space Alien selected a lovely box of Valentine candy to share, and picked out a special sweet to give to someone special! 

Gifts for All

A Sweet for Someone Special!

Finally the Space Alien, taking no chances and ever a liberal (though never a libertine), liberally applied Planet No. 9 to selected pulse points and set off for an evening of Valentine fun!  

What a wonderful time the Space Alien had!  Everyone wanted to crowd close to the Space Alien!  And the Space Alien, as you can clearly see in this this photo, enjoyed every minute of it!

Everyone was Attracted to the Space Alien!

Someday you might run into the Space Alien.   If you do, ask for a dab of Planet No. 9.  

You might be pleased with the results! 

The Space Alien sends this special message to every loyal reader:

Happy Valentine's Day!

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EPILOGUE:  What a wonderful evening the Space Alien enjoyed!  And the best part was that at the last party the Space Alien attended, a Loyal Reader was there and had brought along his record player and recordings written by the Space Alien's faves, Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. 

(Attention younger readers: To learn more about this fabulous musical duo please read Leiber and Stoller.    And to learn more about their songs, please click here. )

One of Leiber and Stoller's great hits was a song called Love Potion No. 9 and this generous Loyal Reader allowed the Space Alien to take recordings of this song home!    What a lovely gift!  

Now the Space Alien listens to them ALL THE TIME (Editor's note: It's driving us crazy!).

If you would like to listen to these recordings, the Space Alien would be happy to play them for you!   

If you would like to hear this great song as originally performed by The Clovers in 1959 please click:  Clovers: Love Potion No. 9

If you would like to hear this performed by The Searchers in 1964, please click  Searchers: Love Potion No. 9

If you happen to be wearing the Space Alien's own Planet No. 9 Perfume while these records are playing, expect amazing things to happen!

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Dear Loyal Readers: We regret that Planet No. 9 Perfume is currently sold out. We hope that someday the Space Alien will be able to replenish the special Planet 9 dust required for its manufacture.  But if you would like a ridiculously overpriced tiny special travel pillow just like the one opon which the Space Alien dreams extravagantly wonderful dreams, click here.  And if you would like a ridiculously overpriced Space Alien Power Tote Bag to carry your own planetary dust, click here.

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Special Announcement for our Loyal Readers:  

Your editor is grateful to the Space Alien for granting her some time off from her exhausting duties in the insanely busy newsroom of the Space Alien Gazette.  This post is extra long because the next issue will not appear for several weeks.   

The Space Alien recommends using this time to catch up with earlier issues (posted prior to the more recently inaugurated subscription service) at www.SpaceAlienGazette.com.    The Space Alien believes this would be the happiest and most productive way for loyal readers to pass the lonesome hours until the next post appears.

The Space Alien Marches with the Women

Early in the morning on the day after the Presidential Inauguration, your editor noticed the Space Alien leaving the office of the Space Alien Gazette with a bucket and garden hose.

"Where are you going?" asked your editor.

"I'm off to drain the Volo Bog."  said the Space Alien,

"NO!" cried your editor.  That's a treasured Illinois Nature Preserve!  Look here on my computer!"  (And you, loyal reader, may look too by clicking on: Volo Bog.)

"But it looks like a SWAMP," answered the Space Alien, "and our New President says swamps must be drained!"

Your editor shook her head sadly.  "Volo Bog, like many other swamps and bogs, is home to many wonderful plants and animals that need this environment to survive, and it contributes to our environment as well.  Plus it would be against the law to disturb it like that!"

"But maybe most people wouldn't even care!" said the Space Alien.

Your editor shook her head.  That's not the way we do things at the Space Alien Gazette!" she said sternly!  "We play by the rules here!"

The Space Alien slowly nodded with understanding, and set aside the pail and garden hose.

"But then what shall I do today?"

"Come with me to the Chicago Women's March" suggested your editor.  "You'll meet lots of terrific people and have a truly productive day!  Here is the beautiful pin that your loyal reader Beth gave you to wear; it's the theme for the day!"

The Theme for the Day

The Space Alien put on the beautiful pin, but still seemed unsure.

"I'm post-gender; will that be a problem?"

"Certainly not!" said your editor.  "You will be most welcome!  So grab your gear and let's go!"

And off they went!

The Space Alien: all fired up 
and ready to go!

The Space Alien, saw lots of people wearing pink hats with cat ears, and fortunately had brought along knitting needles,  pink yarn and some patterns.

Wielding the knitting needles at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, the Space Alien soon had a pink hat with cat ears
all ready to go!

(Loyal readers: To find easy patterns, click here.)

The Space Alien on the March

The Space Alien marched in an unexpectedly huge and growing crowd covering Grant Park and the Chicago Loop.

Look carefully and you might catch a glimpse of the Space Alien wearing a pink hat!

The Space Alien was delighted to see signs that brought everyone together, and felt happy and supported in the crowd now covering downtown Chicago.

At last the Space Alien took to the air with a tiny camera/videocam, taking plenty of pictures and generously sharing them with major broadcast outlets for all to enjoy.

See these videos and photos of the Chicago Women's March:   NBC Chicago, ABC Chicago, and an independent group Heavy.com.

Sue, Joan, Cyndi, Ellie, 
Lynn and Beth 

Your editor, not as energetic or skillful as the Space Alien, joined friends and marched for hours through Grant Park and the Chicago Loop (which totally shut down to accommodate a reported quarter-million marchers) before stopping for refreshments.

Here is your editor, second from the left,  dressed in black and wearing an orange cap!

So Many New Friends!

What a fine day in beautiful Chicago!

This was reportedly the second largest U.S. Women's March, and it was totally peaceful.

The Space Alien made so many new friends and emerged energized and with a new sense of purpose, returning to the insanely busy newsroom of the Space Alien Gazette all fired up and ready to go!


And the creativity!
The Space Alien will never forget the the wonderful signs!  Here are just a few of them!

https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20170121/downtown/these-were-best-signs-from-womens-march-on-chicago and http://chicagoist.com/2017/01/22/photos_40_of_our_favorite_signs_fro.php#photo-1 and http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/photos-signs-womens-march-on-chicago-411463565.html

Much work lies ahead, but for the moment, the Space Alien is content to enjoy a comforting  mug of Ambassador Organics Egyptian Hibiscus Tea (q.v.) and think deep thoughts!

The Space Alien wishes each loyal reader something equally enjoyable today!

The Space Alien Addresses Cyber Security

The President Bids the U.S. Farewell

On January 10 the the entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette watched President Barack Obama's Farewell Address.  The Space Alien has attended dozens of presidential farewell addresses (beginning with President George Washington's) and judged this to be among the best.  Loyal readers are invited to join the Space Alien in standing up to shout "Yes We Can!" and then getting to work!  Here is a link for all wishing to watch it (or watch it again).    PBS Recording of President Obama's Farewell Address.

Turning back to the news, Space Alien resumed an intensive review of the ongoing cyber-security situation, beginning with articles in the Washington Post (here), and New York Times (here), and was pleased to see that the Chicago Tribune had also addressed this dangerous situation in two recent columns.

 

The Wave of the Future?

The first column was by Catherine Rampell of the Washington Post.  To read this column click here.  Here, the President-Elect was quoted as recommending that in the interest of national security, important messages should be delivered by courier, not online. The Space Alien found this persuasive.

In the second, Chicago Tribune's Rex Huppke (a Space Alien fave), addressed this crisis by offering his burgeoning equestrian skills, valuable time and boundless energy to deliver documents securely by horseback.   The Space Alien was touched by this generous expression of patriotism.  http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/huppke/ct-trump-courier-hacking-huppke-20170102-column.html.

Could Columnist Serve
As Postmaster General?

The Space Alien Wonders:
What's next for the U.S.P.S!

(The Space Alien wondered if this means an entirely new direction for the United States Postal Service.   We may address this at another time.)


Because we take this matter seriously we are currently exploring the possibility of delivering the Space Alien Gazette safe from prying eyes in plain brown paper wrappers.  But we are not stopping there.

The Space Alien Gazette's
 Bikes to be Repainted

Loyal readers will recall our announcement a few weeks ago that the Space Alien Gazette would no longer be delivered by a fleet of environmentally-unfriendly trucks, but rather, by bicycle couriers.  http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-space-alien-questions-new-direction.html

As soon as these bicycles are repainted, they will be used to deliver the Space Alien Gazette.  We are confident that this will not only protect the environment, but will also keep our publication from falling into the wrong hands.

Serving Loyal Subscribers Everywhere

We are particularly pleased that we will be able to serve our loyal readers overseas and even further afield with our exciting new Extraterrestrial Service. Our very own Space Alien, traveling through space and time at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, will supervise this operation.

Bicycle couriers (as befits our new greatness) will all be non-union.   Wearing "union suits" will be discouraged.  Couriers requiring the warmth of similar garments in cold weather will henceforth refer to them as "Liberty Longies."

Space Alien Gazette Courier 
Models Liberty Longies

Vintage Ad for Union Suit

Annoying questions about health insurance for our couriers will not be an issue. We are confident that sixteen hour days spent pedaling these bikes in every kind of weather will build up their strength, immunity and general health, rendering such insurance unnecessary.

Our couriers will need no more than basic familiarity with the English language and the Latin alphabet in order to locate street addresses.  No other languages or alphabets need apply.  (Except maybe Cyrllic!)

Happy Couriers Will Deliver
Space Alien Gazette to your Door!

Advanced computer literacy will be unnecessary. The Space Alien Gazette will follow the example of our our national leader in this regard.

We expect no complaint from our couriers regarding salaries, as all will be generously compensated with free subscriptions to the Space Alien Gazette.

We believe everyone will be happier with our new courier service,  securely delivering not only the news you need whether you want it or not, but also the news you want whether you need it or not!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In the Mailbox: 

1. A loyal reader wrote to express deep concern that the Space Alien Gazette would be delivered by non-union couriers, particularly given the contributions unions have made to workplace fairness and safety.   This reader was insistent, claiming to have been told by the departing President not to back down from his beliefs.

However, the Space Alien's top priority right now is making America great again.   As noted previously, the Space Alien suspects that the time of the greatness to be emulated now was when mastodons or perhaps dinosaurs roamed the earth, an era when unions did not exist.  (To see this earlier post please click here. ) 

2. This same loyal reader, was concerned that given the large number of subscribers the Space Alien Gazette might run short of bicycles.  He suggested we acquire the pre-owned bike depicted below.  Clearly the riders of this bicycle, Burl Ives and Woody Guthrie, will not be riding soon again, and so the Space Alien sincerely appreciates the lead.  

3. The same loyal reader, who just won't give up, then sent  indisputable proof that at least some of the animals alive in the "good old days" had a union.

This label, allegedly found in a collection of archaeological artifacts stored away from public view in the Field Museum, was supposedly sewn in a tattered frock, size super XL, determined by carbon dating to be at least 12,000 years old.


The Space Alien, now mentally paralyzed by conflicting views on the union question, has retreated to the Space Alien Gazette's comfortable "time out" room to sort out these feelings while listening to old phonograph records of favorite union songs.

If you, loyal reader, would like to listen and sing along,  click here.

BREAKING NEWS!   1-12-17
Our couriers have just stormed the offices of the Space Alien Gazette with new demands!
Unfurling a banner imprinted with these words:  "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"  they announced that even when the bicycles were ready, and no matter what the weather, they would not perform their delivery duties before finishing their fill of bagels and/or doughnuts and/or round sweet rolls (to be provided by the Space Alien Gazette).   The Space Alien could not be reached for comment.

The Space Alien's Hanukkah Visitor

The Eighth Night of Hanukkah

It was Saturday, December 9, 1741  (q.v.).  

The sun had set ending the Sabbath and beginning the eighth day of Hanukkah.  

The Space Alien had just finished lighting the eighth candle on the menorah and was looking forward to dining on the crispy latkes frying on the stove, when there was a loud knock at the door.

A Visitor on a Cold Night

The Space Alien hurried to open it,  and there in the frosty winter night stood the composer George Frideric Handel (née Georg Friedrich Händel) with a worried look on his face and holding a large sheaf of manuscript papers.

The Space Alien 
Welcomes a Friend

Come in, my dear friend!" said the Space Alien, helping the great composer shake the snow from his overcoat and boots.  "You are always welcome in my home!  Please sit down, and let me serve you some freshly made latkes!"   

A Delicious Platter 
of Latkes

"What are latkes?" asked Handel, easing into a chair and staring at the platter placed before him.  "These look just like kartoffelpfankuchen, potato pancakes!"

"Yes," said the Space Alien, "but on Hanukkah we call them latkes, and here is some applesauce and sour cream to eat them with!  Enjoy!"

Handel dug into the platter, after adding a generous sprinkle of the cinnamon and sugar the Space Alien offered him.  

"So delicious!" he exclaimed. 
But then he turned to the Space Alien and the look of concern returned to his face..  

Handel Worries 
about his Music

"I'm having a problem with this  composition," said the great composer.  "It will be performed for the first time this coming  April 13 at the New Musick Hall on Fishamble Street in Dublin."  

"I'm sure it will be my most beloved work,"he continued, "but it still needs something, and I don't know exactly what.  Can you have a look?"

The Space Alien picked up the manuscript and began to inspect the pages.  
  

The Prophecies of Isaiah

"Oh this is wonderful!" said the Space Alien.  "Pure genius! 



And you are so brave to include the predictions of the prophet Isaiah about the coming of the Messiah!" 

"Well, they've all come true!" said Handel. 

"Not in my book they haven't," murmured the Space Alien, "but let's not discuss that now!"

Then the Space Alien turned to Handel: "I think I know what this work needs more than anything!"

"Oh please, tell me!" begged the composer.

"Well," said the Space Alien thoughtfully, "it's a long work with many splendid recitatives, arias and choruses which, while beautiful, may overtax the energies of singers and audience alike."

"I was worried about that very thing," said Handel.

A Baseball Fan Helps the Composer

The Space Alien continued: "Perhaps it needs something spirited and uplifting placed about three-quarters of the way through, like the 7th Inning Stretch of a baseball game when everyone stands up and sings Take me out to the Ballgame; something to get everyone re-energized!"

"What's a baseball game?" asked Handel. 

"Ah, it's...oh it doesn't matter. You need something to get everyone, even the audience, up on their feet to approach the final portion of this magnificent work with renewed gusto!"

"But how could I do that?" asked Handel.

The Space Alien thought deeply about this for a moment and then leaned in close: "I think you need to give everyone an opportunity to stand up and sing a special word that everyone knows and loves, a word like Hallelujah!"

"Oh my goodness," said Handel, "That's a brilliant suggestion!  Let me see if it works!"

Handel Adds to The Messiah

The great composer pulled a pen and a bottle of ink from his large coat pocket, and wrote furiously on the manuscript for a few moments.  

Then he handed it back to the Space Alien.

"What do you think of this?" he asked.

"It's perfect!" said the Space Alien.  "Everyone will love to sing this and its energy will enliven every concert hall where it is performed!"

Let's Toast to Success!

"Now," continued the Space Alien, "let's finish these latkes before they get cold, and drink to your success with a glass of Mogen David wine!"

"With pleasure," said Handel, "but tell me, what is this Hanukkah that you are celebrating with special candles, food and wine?"

"It is a very special time, my dear friend," answered the Space Alien, who proceeded to tell the great composer about brave Judah Maccabee and the miracle of Hanukkah.   (To learn more, click here.)

George Frideric Handel

When the Space Alien completed this account, Handel became quite excited and finally stood up from his seat and declared "This is the most magnificent story!  

It's a theme I shall surely address in another work in the near future!"  

(Editor's Note: Just five years later, he did so, albeit in another context.  To learn more, click here.  To hear a famous chorus from Handel's oratorio Judas Maccabaeus, click here.)

That was all so very long ago, but the Space Alien has never forgotten!

These days, the Space Alien, a fine singer  (q.v.), loves to join your editor each year singing in Chicago's Do It Yourself Messiah (q.v.),  and always recalls with special fondness that magical evening 275 years ago, feasting on latkes and drinking sweet Concord grape wine with George Frideric Handel in the glow of the Hanukkah candles, and, most of all, being present at the creation of the great Hallelujah Chorus which you may also hear by clicking here.

(Editors Note:  We realize some of our loyal readers are music scholars who may have some doubts about this account.  We would ask them to consider how many facts herein are easily verifiable, and this should impart confidence about the remainder, consistent with current standards of truthiness.)

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The Space Alien, Your Editor, and the entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette wish our Loyal Readers good health and much happiness in 2017.

###

The Space Alien Gives a Practical Gift

Your editor returned home from a hectic day in the insanely busy newsroom of the Space Alien Gazette.  She hesitated to turn on her TV for fear of what the news from Washington would be.   But as she took off her coat she saw the Space Alien waiting in her living room, greeting her with a big smile and an ornately wrapped box topped with a bright red bird.

"I wanted to give you a special holiday gift!" said the Space Alien, handing her the package.

A Beautiful Gift

A Holiday Gift for You!

"It's beautiful!" said your editor!

"Well open it," said the Space Alien, "but you can't keep the bird; he's just on loan!"

"I can see that!" said your editor, opening a window as the handsome red bird took flight.

The Red Bird Took Flight

Your editor then opened the package, carefully unwinding layers of ribbon and wrapping paper, to reveal a wall clock.

"Well this is a lovely gift!" she exclaimed.  "It's something I can use every day!"

"It's special," said the Space Alien, pulling a battery from the tissue paper and inserting it into the clock.  "See how it runs!  Just click here to have a look!"

This Clock Runs Backwards!

"Oh my goodness," exclaimed your editor.  "It IS a clock but it runs BACKWARDS!    And look!  All the numbers are backwards too!  Whatever will I do with this?"

"I thought you'd need it," said the Space Alien. "Didn't you say that the new administration would turn back the clock?"

Your editor sighed "Yes indeed, they already seem to be turning back the clock -- on human rights of every sort, on civil rights and civil liberties, on the environment, on education, on health, on labor, on consumer protection, and perhaps on any hope of world peace! The list goes on and on!  We'll be moving backward, not forward!"

"This is true," said the Space Alien thoughtfully, "and maybe you are also concerned about turning back the clock on even the modest gains made in recent decades towards overcoming tribalism in order to form a more perfect union."

"Exactly!" said your editor, marveling once again at the Space Alien's deep understanding and eloquent expression of her own distress.

"Then this clock will help you keep track of it!" said the Space Alien, carefully hanging the new timepiece on your editor's living room wall.

Your editor spent a moment watching the counterclockwise movement of the second hand.

"Where did you ever find such a thing?"

"I found it on Amazon"

"But you don't have an account there -- or anywhere else for that matter!"

"Oh, I used your account," said the Space Alien a bit sheepishly.  "You know I don't have a credit card or even a birth certificate, but I have such an honest face they took care of me right away."

"It's a thoughtful gift!" said your editor.  "I guess we'll all be needing one of these sooner or later!"

"Probably sooner," murmured the Space Alien.  "So everyone who wants one can just click here."

"How long do you think this clock will run?" asked your editor, a worried look on her face.

"Hopefully no longer than four years," muttered the Space Alien.



"We need to snap out of this," said your editor.   "Look outside; there's light, there's hope!"



"Yes, " answered the Space Alien, "with light comes hope!"

"Then the greatest gift we can give our loyal readers," said your editor "is our pledge to keep on producing the Space Alien Gazette as a shining light of inspiration and cheer!"

"Right on!" said the Space Alien.  "We'll never give up and we'll never give in, and certainly we'll have plenty of work ahead, but just for now, let's relax, enjoy the season and thank our readers for their loyalty!"

MAY ALL OUR LOYAL READERS RECEIVE GIFTS OF LOVE, HEALTH, AND JOY
NOW AND IN THE YEAR AHEAD!

WITH EVERY GOOD WISH FROM 

THE SPACE ALIEN 

AND

THE ENTIRE STAFF OF THE SPACE ALIEN GAZETTE

The Space Alien Questions the New Direction for NASA

These Trucks to be Retired

An earlier post showing these Space Alien Gazette delivery trucks (q.v.) prompted a loyal reader to advise that these diesel trucks were terrible polluters that would harm our environment and contribute to climate change.   The Space Alien immediately decided that henceforth, the Space Alien Gazette would be delivered by bicycle messenger.

These Bikes to be Repurposed

Accordingly, the bicycles depicted here are being repurposed and redecorated for our use.  


We are currently interviewing applicants for delivery jobs, to be compensated with free subscriptions to the Space Alien Gazette.

Environmental quality is of great concern to the Space Alien, as reflected in a deep interest in the work of the U. S. National Aeronautics and Science Administration (NASA) over nearly six decades both in exploring Space and in observing Earth.

Hubble Telescope Explores Space 

The Space Alien was distressed to learn that NASA's Earth science (q.v.) proposed budget (which documents  effects of climate change) may now be limited to deep space exploration.  

To learn more about this click here.   Apparently this was prompted by fears in some quarters that observing changes on Earth could confirm the role of human activity in causing them.  To see what NASA has said and photographed about this,  click here.

According to NASA's FY2017 budget estimates (q.v.)
"This budget request continues to fund a strategic suite of missions to study the Earth, Sun, solar system, and deep space. Earth observations continue to allow unprecedented study of climate change, weather, and natural hazards." 

But could this exploration by NASA now be at risk under a new administration?  And could attention to our environment in general be at risk?  Could we be returning to the days when human health was threatened with industrial smog and where our water was laced with toxic effluent?

From the Space Alien's
Living Room Wall

The Space Alien cannot understand why anyone would not want to learn about the condition of their home in order to keep it pleasant and -- most of all -- livable.




The Space Alien wonders where else but Earth humans could make their home.  It is especially puzzling to the Space Alien that topics such as climate change and the role of humans in bringing this about, as well as questions concerning events such as terrific storms and destructive floods in this regard are all too often subjects for political debate rather than scientific inquiry.   

Sometimes when the Space Alien uses words like "climate change," or worse yet "carbon footprint" or worst of all "anthropogenic" (q.v.), some humans make angry faces or say  "Shush!" or "Don't talk about that!" or "It's a hoax!"  Sometimes they just tell the Space Alien "we don't like your politics!"   The Space Alien doesn't understand why some humans don't want to talk about keeping a nice, livable home.

The Space Alien knows that it is not polite to talk about your underwear or about the stuff that comes out of your nose, especially at nice dinner parties, but why does the topic of maintaining a livable home seem to arouse such ire in some quarters?  The Space Alien recently read an article about this here but still doesn't understand the need to tiptoe.

Centuries ago the French philosopher Blaise Pascal pointed out to the Space Alien that where the stakes were high it was best to bet on the safest course of action rather than risk catastrophe.  (For more about this encounter please see the post http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/08/the-flossing-wager.html.)

The ever-logical Space Alien was convinced that even with incomplete information about the efficacy of flossing it was better to floss your teeth than to risk losing them, and applies the same reasoning to deciding whether we should keep track of the effects of climate change on Earth.

Could Humans Live 
in Deep Space?

Could humans relocate to space if Earth were uninhabitable?  




The Space Alien doesn't think that even the hardiest humans would last more than a millisecond in deep space, not even all dressed up in clumsy "space suits" they wore on the Moon or in the movie "The Martian" (q.v.)  The Space Alien is quite comfortable almost anywhere in space, but knows that humans would probably be miserable!

The Space Alien hopes that NASA will continue to photograph Earth to remind everyone who lives there to keep it safe and clean and livable!

Photograph of Earth by NASA