Wednesday, February 28, 2018

The Space Alien is Home for Purim

The Space Alien returned from a lovely winter vacation just in time for Purim, which this year begins the evening of February 28 through March 1 (but a bit longer in Jerusalem!), and now it was time to prepare for this joyous festival celebrating the victory of good over evil!

Working at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, the Space Alien prepared platter after platter of Hamantashen, delicious triangular cookies stuffed with poppy seeds or sweet fruit.



While the Hamantashen were baking, the Space Alien read about the origin of these traditional cookies.  Even Loyal Readers who know the story of Purim may find surprising new information here:  http://time.com/4695901/purim-history-hamantaschen/

Loyal Readers may also recall how the Space Alien observed Purim last year:
 http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/03/the-space-aliens-purim-celebration.html.
(In the opinion of You Editor, many of the matters referenced there apply this year as well.)

This year, however, the Space Alien experienced a sense of deep concern, only heightened while reviewing an article published two years ago in The Forward. 

But the Space Alien realized it would do no good to dwell on such matters because Purim was at hand.

The Festival of Purim is to be observed in four specific ways, and the Space Alien quickly set about doing this.

  1.  First the Space Alien listened twice to a reading of the Book of Esther -- the only biblical book traditionally written on its very own scroll -- and considered once more how an impulsive and selfish king, influenced by an evil advisor, was finally turned around by a brave young woman.

The Space Alien thought deeply about the importance of being brave enough to do the right thing and not to give in to fear or despair, or to become confused by life's contradictions and discrepancies.



2.  Next the Space Alien prepared baskets of delicious treats for friends and family, sharing pleasure and enhancing loving relationships.




3.  Then the Space Alien shared food and money for some meals with those in need, and experienced the joy of giving and strengthening community ties.

The Space Alien also borrowed Your Editor's credit card to make a  generous contribution to the Greater Chicago Food Depository and urges Loyal Readers to do so as well!

https://www.chicagosfoodbank.org


4.  Finally, the the Space Alien invited everyone to a wonderful party to celebrate the Festival of Purim, to wear costumes and eat yummy food, but most of all, to encourage optimism over despair, and to energize everyone to work for a better future!


  Your Editor, as well as the reporters, editors, press operators and delivery drivers of the Space Alien Gazette join the Space Alien in wishing everyone a Happy Purim!



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Saturday, February 10, 2018

The Space Alien Plans a Vacation and Sends a Valentine

Your Editor had enough of winter!  It was cold and dark and icy, and, to make matters worse,  the Space Alien had built a snowman and was going around telling everyone that it "looks just like Your Editor!"



Enough was enough, thought Your Editor, and she had just started packing for a lovely winter getaway to the Cayman Islands when the Space Alien whooshed in carrying a well-traveled valise.

"Where are your going?" asked Your Editor, who was frantically searching for her plane ticket and passport.

"I thought I'd go with you," answered the Space Alien.  "Publishing the Space Alien Gazette is hard work and I could use a little sea and sunshine so I'll join you!  I just checked out the latest Cayman tourist publication and this looks like it would be perfect for me!  Nothing more relaxing than a hammock on the beach!"


Your Editor, watching a quiet, stress-free vacation going down the drain, turned to the Space Alien and asked, "How will you do that?  You don't even have a passport!"

"I've thought about that," answered the Space Alien.  "Since I'm imaginary there's no way I can get a passport, so I'll travel as your Emotional Support Animal!  Not only dogs, but even birds, pigs, hamsters and iguanas have been allowed on planes to give emotional support to travelers, and to tell the truth, you look like you could use this!"

"No!" cried Your Editor picking up a copy of the Space Alien Gazette's main competitor, the Chicago Tribune. "Just look!  Airlines are cracking down on this!"



And she proceeded to show the Space Alien the following articles, which you, Loyal Reader, may find here:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/editorials/ct-edit-delta-support-animals-airlines-20180119-story.html

http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-biz-united-emotional-support-peacock-20180131-story.html

 http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/ct-biz-united-tightens-rules-emotional-support-animals-0202-story.html

"YOU are NOT a trained support animal," concluded Your Editor, "so you cannot be flying around free on airplanes!"

"Well I'll just buy a regular ticket then," pouted the Space Alien.  "Of course since I'm imaginary I'll have to use your credit card!"

And with that, the Space Alien scurried out the door, leaving Your Editor envisioning a vacation likely to be considerably more complicated than usual!

Meanwhile the Space Alien enjoyed fantasies of what a wonderful trip this would be!

Here is what Your Editor hopes to find on Grand Cayman Island:


And here is an exclusive peek at what the Space Alien is anticipating:
















Before departing, the Space Alien would like to wish Loyal Readers a happy and loving St. Valentine's Day!  The Space Alien made this special one-of-a-kind Valentine greeting, with a cookie baked right inside, just for you!



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Saturday, January 20, 2018

The Space Alien at the Women's March during a Government Shutdown

What a busy week for the Space Alien!

First there was the Chicago Women's March entitled The March to the Polls.

The Space Alien loved participating in the Chicago Women's March last year and urges Loyal Readers to check that out here: http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/01/the-space-alien-rallies-with-women.html

This year the Space Alien marched with friends including Your Editor, Beth, Maya, and one of the Space Alien's very best pals, Lady Liberty!




But while the Space Alien marched vigorously through Grant Park and Chicago's Loop, it was impossible to set aside worries about the federal government shutdown that had begun a few hours earlier, and especially about how this would affect the animals in the National Zoo.

Finally the Space Alien could linger no longer.  With a wave to fellow marchers, the Space Alien took off at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, and in a fraction of a second had arrived in Washington, D. C., landing at National Airport, taking the Metro Blue Line to the Farragut North station, and transferring to the Red Line to reach the Woodley Park-Adams Morgan Station near the Smithsonian Zoological Park, popularly known as the National Zoo.


The Space Alien quickly reached the National Zoo, and was relieved to find the dedicated staff at work caring for the animals. Nevertheless, the Space Alien pitched right in to visit all the animals and make sure they were all right.




The giant panda was quietly lunching on the bamboo growing nearby, so the Space Alien just shared a few pleasantries and moved on.




A kindly zoo keeper -- staying on the job whatever the pay situation might have been -- was carefully  feeding the smaller red panda.  What a lovely scene.




The Space Alien admired the Grevy's zebras - what handsome pajamas they wore!
Had they just gotten out of bed?



The Space Alien didn't know what to make of the mother okapi and her little one.
Apparently they just slept in pajama bottoms!  A bit too informal, thought the Space Alien.



But the alpacas were nattily dressed in their sweaters!




The Space Alien greeted an alligator and a crocodile who each returned the Space Alien's friendly smile.  What odd looking creatures, thought the Space Alien!



The Space Alien, now satisfied that all the animals in the National Zoo would survive the federal government shutdown, quickly returned to Chicago.  The Women's March to the Polls was still in full swing and even larger than last year as the Space Alien rejoined the enthusiastic crowd!



There were so many wonderful pictures from this march online; we cannot possibly print them all.

But the Space Alien was so pleased to be part of this extraordinary crowd!

However, Your Editor's family and many friends will recognize the speaker who appears about 50 seconds into the following website -- it's less than a minute long but don't miss it! Way to go, Cari!
(Be sure to turn the sound on at the foot of the video just to the right of the "play" arrow!)

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-met-womens-march-draws-thousands-012018-story.html

Here are a few more links from Chicago with some great photographs and videos of the people who marched and the signs they carried!

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/photos-signs-spotted-at-2018-womens-march-chicago-470298683.html



The Space Alien (who, as Loyal Readers know, has no birth certificate) is not eligible to vote, but urges Loyal Readers who ARE eligible to vote to do so during the upcoming 2018 Primary Elections.  In Illinois, this will be on Tuesday, March 20, 2018! 

The Space Alien considers this auspicious as it is also the date of the Vernal Equinox, the first day of Spring!  So mark your calendar! 

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Wednesday, January 17, 2018

The Space Alien Struggles with Language

Your Editor has been pleased to observe the Space Alien's increased command of the English language over the years.  Except for spelling (still a problem), the articles submitted by the Space Alien are generally ready for print when they reach her desk.



She was therefore alarmed when she saw the latest draft from the Space Alien.  It was full of language unsuitable for these pages, as well as mean slurs and demeaning nicknames.

"What's gotten into you?" she asked the Space Alien?  "Where did you ever learn such language?"

"I took your advice," answered the Space Alien, "and I tried to emulate the speech of our national leaders as examples of fine English prose!"

Your Editor groaned as she sharpened her blue pencil.  

But the Space Alien didn't even notice.


"Look!" cried the Space Alien,  pulling a large book off the shelf. "These words are in the dictionary!  Isn't that where you told me to look for words?"

"Yes," agreed Your Editor, "but look again.  Don't you see that your dictionary calls these words 'vulgar' or 'obscene'?   Do we really need to use them in the Space Alien Gazette?"

"But what if they are direct quotes?" asked the Space Alien.

Your Editor shook her head sadly.  "That is indeed a problem. I know most adults and even children have heard these words, but we still want the Space Alien Gazette to set a good example.  Let's find a way to report the news without sinking to vulgarity or obscenity."  

"OK," said the Space Alien,  thoughtfully, "and could it be that using these words exposes deficiencies in the user's own vocabulary?"

"That is entirely possible," agreed Your Editor.

"Look what I found online!" cried the Space Alien.  "Lists of Shakespearean insults!  Maybe I'll use some of these in the future!"


And you, Loyal Reader, may find these too at:

https://www.nosweatshakespeare.com/resources/shakespeare-insults/  and
https://www.shortlist.com/entertainment/books/30-best-shakespearean-insults/95397 and
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/23/15-great-william-shakespeare-insults-which-are-better-than-swear/ and
http://web.mit.edu/dryfoo/Funny-pages/shakespeare-insult-kit.html

"Now about those nicknames..." began Your Editor.

"Yes indeed," chuckled the Space Alien, "I'll start with calling you 'Pointy Blue Pencil Head' and our chief printing press operator can be 'Lead Head' and I think I'll make up lots more names like that for our reporters and editors and delivery crew!  How do you like that?"

"Hmm," answered Your Editor, "would you like it if I called you 'Funny Looking Bug Eyes?'   Do you think that would help us get along better?  Would it improve the working environment here at the Space Alien Gazette?  Would we be able to work together as effectively to put out a first rate newspaper?"

The Space Alien winced remembering painful times on the playground.




"No," said the Space Alien thoughtfully.  "I guess not!  That is what little children sometimes do to each other, but when they grow up they learn how hurtful this is and how it works against mutual understanding."

Your Editor nodded in agreement.

The Space Alien and Your Editor sat quietly for a moment.

Then the Space Alien spoke:  "I would like to see the Space Alien Gazette set the very highest standard for language which unites and does not divide, and I'll do my very best to achieve that."

"Me too," agreed Your Editor.  "Now let's get some lunch!"
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Sunday, December 31, 2017

Happy New Year 2018

The Space Alien and the entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette wish Loyal Readers good health and much happiness in 2018!  

The Space Alien will spend January 1, 2018 writing page upon page of New Year's resolutions, and resolves to be a kinder, more thoughtful and more generous Space Alien in the coming year.  
If you are having trouble thinking of good resolutions for 2018, the Space Alien recommends drawing inspiration from back issues of the Space Alien Gazette at www.spacealiengazette.com.

Your Editor wishes Loyal Readers good health and happiness in the coming year, and recommends enjoying the day with friends, family, or just relaxing and reading a good book! -- preferably one that offers new hope for the year ahead!


Saturday, December 23, 2017

The Space Alien Helps Santa

The Space Alien decided to pay a holiday visit to Santa. Traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, the Space Alien reached the North Pole where Santa greeted the Space Alien warmly.



Santa was reviewing lists of who had been naughty and who had been nice, but clearly the jolly old elf was worried.  


"What's wrong, Santa?" asked the Space Alien kindly.  "Can I help?"


Santa sighed: "It's the Reindeer!  The other night they all flew to Chicago to dance with the Sugarplum Fairy in the Joffrey Ballet production of The Nutcracker at the historic but drafty Auditorium Theatre."



"They danced beautifully and they were the stars of the production, but they wore only their skimpy tutus and they all caught cold!"


The Space Alien peeked into the reindeer's bedroom and sure enough, there they were, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and even Blitzen!  All sick in bed!

"I don't know how we'll manage to bring gifts to all the little boys and girls this year," said Santa sadly. "These reindeer are just too sick to travel!"

The Space Alien thought deeply for a moment, then whipped out an iPhone, dialed several numbers, and had brief, urgent conversations.





In moments, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer stood at the door, with the Little Engine that Could close behind.  

"We got your call and we're here to help!" said Rudolph.  "I can guide your sleigh tonight!" he continued, and then turned to the Little Engine that Could.  "Can you carry all those toys?

"I think I can, I think I can!" chugged the Little Engine that Could. 

"Then let's get going!" they all cried out together!   

The Space Alien made sure the reindeer were all tucked in with warm blankets and plenty of hot lemonade to drink, and then joined Santa, Rudolph and the Little Engine that Could as they loaded all the toys aboard.  

The Little Engine pulled. . 
The Space Alien pushed.
Rudolph lit their way through the night!
And a relieved and happy Santa prepared to jump down millions of chimneys, delivering toys to little girls and boys everywhere!
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P.S. The Space Alien reassures concerned Loyal Readers that the reindeer were soon feeling much better, and there were plenty of gifts for them too! 

P.P.S. For loyal readers wondering about the reindeer dancing en pointe wearing pink tutus, Your Editor would remind you that these reindeer are most likely female.    This is well documented here:  
https://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2017/12/19/people-were-wrong-about-santas-reindeer-nova-scotia-zoologist-says-theyre-actually-all-female.html
Here are some extra goodies for good children of all ages:


Enjoy The Little Engine that Could by Wally Piper.
Find this 1930s classic from many booksellers!
Find a reprint of the original classic at Amazon here.

Listen to a reading on You Tube:

Here's a page-by-page reading of "The Little Engine that Could" complete with illustrations:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdFm7eekQZY

And here's another reading by none other than Captain Kangaroo:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nK6fbnHccOg

Learn about A Visit from St. Nicholas, the classic poem nearly 200 years old, attributed to Clement Clark Moore, that has shaped so much of our popular conception of Santa Claus:   

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Visit_from_St._Nicholas and hear a reading with wonderful pictures at  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEkZK9NZGFg
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The entire staff of the Space Alien Gazette wishes you and yours a wonderful holiday season and good health and lots of exciting adventures in 2018!

Saturday, December 9, 2017

The Space Alien's First Hanukkah

On a chilly winter morning the Space Alien was awakened by a ringing iPhone.
The calendar on the wall clearly showed the year as 165 BCE (Q.V.), but who could be calling?


Who could be calling? 
Why, it was the Space Alien's old friend Judah Maccabee!  Judah Maccabee sounded happy but exhausted, speaking excitedly about how he and his brothers had won a battle to return their house of worship and had just finished an enormous cleaning job there, and how, although there was hardly any oil left in the lamps, they had miraculously continued to burn for eight days.

Then Judah Maccabee invited the Space Alien to a party to celebrate Hanukkah, the rededication of this beautiful house of worship, as well as the miracle of the lights that had happened there.  (And you, loyal reader, may learn more about this here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanukkah and here: https://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/the-maccabean-revolt/.)

Of course the Space Alien accepted with pleasure!  The Maccabee brothers always gave splendid parties that sometimes went on for days.  But this would be the very first Hanukkah party ever, and a gift was in order.  But what should it be?

The Space Alien knew that the Maccabees had fought a hard fight against those who would keep them from practicing their religion.  Now that their house of worship was restored, a beautiful candle holder would be the perfect gift.

The Space Alien scoured the markets and at last found a beautiful candle holder called a menorah to hold eight candles to be lit each night, with one more added each day for eight days to commemorate the miracle, plus a ninth holder for the candle used to light all the others.
The Space Alien Gives a Menorah to Judah Maccabee
Judah Maccabee welcomed the Space Alien warmly and, as seen in this exclusive photo taken by one of the Maccabee brothers, was thrilled to receive the beautiful menorah.

What a splendid party it was!   The Space Alien joined in all the songs, spun a top called a "dreidl," shared tiny chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil called "Hanukkah gelt" (or Hanukkah coins), and had a wonderful time!


The Space Alien Spins the Dreidl
The Space Alien Shares Hanukkah Gelt
This year Hanukkah begins the evening of Tuesday, December 12 when the first candle is lit.  The eighth candle is lit the evening of December 19.   


If you would like to learn more about Hanukkah songs, click here.
(If you would like to hear these songs, there are many performances of them at https://www.youtube.com  Just enter the name of the song you would like to hear, or just enter "Hanukkah songs" and you will get lots of choices!) 
If you would like to learn to play a game with a little top called a "dreidl,' click here.  
If you would like to learn about Hanukkah "gelt" (or Hanukkah money), click here.

Loyal readers may enjoy another Hanukkah story at:
http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-space-alien-hanukkah-visitor.html

The Space Alien Gazette wishes all loyal readers a joyous and light-filled Hanukkah!

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Tuesday, November 21, 2017

The Space Alien's Thanksgiving Feast

The entire staff and special friends of the Space Alien Gazette gathered for a feast a few days before Thanksgiving.

Tom Turkey and a friend, confident that no birds would be served for dinner, brought a beautiful pie!
Tom Turkey and Friend Brought a Pie

"I remember what a good time I had last year," said Tom Turkey.  "I was so happy to find a Thanksgiving table with birds AT and not ON the table!"

To read about this at the Space Alien's 2016 Thanksgiving click here.

Soon the table was groaning under the weight of delicious whole food plant-based dishes prepared under the supervision of the Space Alien Gazette's Executive Chef.  


Many of the recipes served at this holiday feast were created by Carol D'Anca, author of Real Food for Healthy People, and may be found at: https://www.foodnotmeds.com/recipe/


Space Alien Gazette Chef Supervises Thanksgiving Dishes

The Space Alien worked hard to keep the kitchen clean and help wherever needed, but clearly had become a bit over-excited by the events of the day.


        The Space Alien Helps in the Kitchen 
       All in all, it was a wonderful party!
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PLEASE ENJOY THIS EXCLUSIVE SPACE ALIEN GAZETTE RECIPE 
FROM OUR FOOD EDITORS  

“IT'S NOT CHOPPED LIVER”  
1/2 cup dried lentils
1/2 cup walnuts coarsely chopped
1 large onion coarsely chopped
1 small clove garlic minced
1-2 fresh jalapeño peppers (optional -- hot!)
2 egg whites, hard boiled, chopped (optional) 
(these are cosmetic, to resemble fat; chop in some tofu at the end or omit)
1 tsp. bullion powder or granules (optional)

Cook lentils in 2 cups of water until soft (about 20 minutes) and drain.
Fry or water-sauté onions, garlic and (if using) jalapeños
Process with cooked lentils and chopped walnuts in food processor to desired consistency
(best to leave it rather grainy to look like chopped liver)
Add sea salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste   

Make the day before serving.  
When well chilled, press into bowl and turn onto a platter
Surround with crackers.

Or, as in the picture of another vegan pate below, serve with romaine leaves and bread with avocado slices and other garnishes so guests can make their own wraps or with mustard, relish and onion slices for sandwiches.




The Space Alien Gazette wishes you a 
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

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