The Space Alien Welcomes 2019

The Space Alien is celebrating a quiet New Year's Eve with a lovely chilled bottle of sparkling cranberry juice. And here's another bottle of the same beverage for you to enjoy! All of us at the insanely busy office of the Space Alien Gazette wish our Loyal Readers Joy, Success and Good Health in 2019. 

This is may be your only e-mail today not seeking a donation. 

But if you would like to support a worthy cause either now or next year, the Space Alien recommends organizations that feed the hungry, such as Chicago's Food Bank, the Greater Chicago Food Depository.  Learn more here: https://www.chicagosfoodbank.org.

See you all next year with the hard-hitting journalism you can depend on!

The Space Alien Gazette

Your Reliable Source for Alternative Facts

The Space Alien Sings Messiah and Applies for a Job

The Space Alien enjoyed a delightful evening singing in Chicago's great Do It Yourself Messiah along with Your Editor, Joan, and two dear friends, Ellie and Cyndi, and took this exclusive photograph of them for the Space Alien Gazette.

Three Happy Choristers Sing Messiah

It was lots of fun and most inspirational, and conductor Stanley Sperber thanked the Space Alien for being there to help the 1500 singers at Chicago's Harris Theatre sing their parts without too many mistakes! 

Maestro Sperber, was also well aware of the important role of the Space Alien in the composition of The Messiah (about which you, Loyal Reader, may learn at: http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-space-alien-hanukkah-visitor.html).   

He therefore appreciated the Space Alien's assistance with another wildly successful Chicago Do It Yourself Messiah.  http://imfchicago.org/programs/do-it-yourself-messiah/

The Space Alien Assists Maestro Sperber

But this was a stark reminder that it was time for the Space Alien to find a job.  Holidays were coming and the Space Alien wanted to give gifts and entertain, but all of this took money and the Space Alien's wallet was empty.

The Space Alien Needed a Job!

In the "Help Wanted" section of the Space Alien Gazette the Space Alien found this ad: 

"Temporary Job — Immediate Employment: Delivery skills important, must love to travel and get along with children.  Send resumé to S.Claus@NorthPole."

The Space Alien quickly polished and sent off a glowing resumé, and was immediately called in for an interview with Santa himself!

"I'm ready to do the work," said the Space Alien. "Just give me the addresses and I'll deliver these gifts at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light!"

"I'm so sorry," said Santa, looking sadly at the Space Alien's glowing resumé.  "I can see that you are highly qualified for this job, but unfortunately, after some checking, I see you are imaginary!  How could I comply with state and federal regulations?  I don't even think you have a Social Security number!"

Santa Ponders the Space Alien's Resumé

"Well what about you?" retorted the Space Alien.  "I looked you up in Dun and Bradstreet and although you handle billions of dollars worth of merchandise each year no one seems to know exactly where you live or anything else about you!  And you don't even seem to have an Employer Identification Number either!  So I'll bet you are imaginary too!"

"Nonsense," said Santa.  "I live in the hearts and minds of children all over the world!  Ask any of them!  I was even in a newspaper article about this," said Santa, reaching into a battered attaché case to pull out a yellowing column from a 120 year old newspaper "so that should settle it!"*

"Ha!" retorted the Space Alien.  "I live in the hearts and minds of my Loyal Readers, not to mention my Editor!  So it looks like we've got this in common!"

Santa thought deeply for a moment before responding.  

Finally he said:  

"Well, you've made your point, so I guess you're hired!"

"Hallelujah," cried the Space Alien!  "I'll start work immediately!"

Loyal Readers, please remember that the Space Alien is new at many aspects of this job.  So if your young child receives a case of Dom Pérignon Champagne, or Grandma gets a skateboard and a pair of boxing gloves, please understand that the Space Alien is just getting into the job and should be a lot better at it by next year!

The Space Alien and the entire staff here at the insanely busy newsroom of the Space Alien Gazette would like to take this opportunity to wish all Loyal Readers a Joyous Holiday Season and Good Health and Happiness in the New Year!

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* Loyal Readers wishing to know more about this famous 1897 column in one of our competitors, the New York Sun, can read about it here: 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yes,_Virginia,_there_is_a_Santa_Claus 
or read the full text more clearly here:
 https://www.nysun.com/editorials/yes-virginia/68502/

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The Space Alien's Hanukkah Dish

Hanukkah is right around the corner!  This year it begins at sundown on Sunday, December 2nd, and the last evening is on Sunday, December 9th. 

The Space Alien had already polished a menorah to hold the candles to be lit each night -- first one, and at last all eight --  to commemorate a miracle following the victory of Judah Maccabee and his brothers who, long years ago at this season, won the right to practice their religion.

Please read more about this at: 

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/12/the-space-alien-hanukkah-visitor.html

and: 

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/11/the-space-alien-celebrates-hanukkah.html


Today Your Editor found the Space Alien in the kitchen with a wooden chopping bowl and food chopper.  

"I see you are wearing your signature apron!"* exclaimed Your Editor. 

"Yes," answered the Space Alien,  "I like to keep myself tidy in the kitchen!"

"So what's with the chopping bowl?" she asked.  

The Space Alien looked up -- "I'll be preparing a special dish for the SECOND night of Hanukkah!   The first night I'll make latkes, those delicious fried potato pancakes, but they are so heavy that I want something lighter for the next evening, a dish I can make a day or two in advance!"

"Well it looks like you are getting ready to make chopped chicken liver," said Your Editor, "but I thought you didn't eat animals!"   

"I don't," said said the Space Alien, "but this will be a special dish, and I'll have you know IT'S NOT CHOPPED LIVER!"  

"Oh, so you are making your special dish called IT'S NOT CHOPPED LIVER!"  exclaimed Your Editor.  "Everyone here loves it, so let's share this recipe here on the pages of the Space Alien Gazette for all of our  Loyal Readers!"

So here it is, a favorite here in the busy editorial offices of the Space Alien Gazette, and we think you'll like it too!  And by the way, it's quite all right to make it in a food processor!

It's Not Chopped Liver!**

1/2 cup dried lentils

1/2 cup walnuts coarsely chopped

1 large onion coarsely chopped

1 small clove garlic minced

Sea salt and fresh ground black pepper to taste 

Optional: 1 or 2 chopped fresh jalapeño peppers (for extra heat)

Optional: 1 or 2 hard boiled egg whites chopped (these are cosmetic, to resemble fat)
Or chop in a bit of tofu for the same cosmetic effect.

Optional: About 1 tsp. chicken bullion powder or granules (instead of optional salt)  Your Editor likes this!

Cook lentils in 2 cups of water until soft (about 20 minutes) and drain.

Sauté the onions and garlic (and, if using, jalapeños) in a little oil or water. 

Process the lentils, onions, garlic and walnuts in a food processor (and if using these, bullion powder or granules and/or jalapeños) to desired consistency.  (The Space Alien and Your Editor both like it a little coarse and grainy to look like chopped liver).  

Add the cooked egg whites if you are using them and process minimally; they should look like bits of fat!

Add sea salt (optional) and fresh ground black pepper to taste -- the Space Alien loves pepper!

(Your Editor recommends an electric food processor.  The Space Alien finds this machine scary and does it the old fashioned way, which Your Editor does not recommend.)  

You can make this a day or two before serving and it's even better the next day!

When ready to serve, press into a bowl and turn onto a platter; it looks nice on a large lettuce leaf!

(The Space Alien likes to decorate with strips of red and yellow sweet pepper, or slices of pimento stuffed olives, or sometimes just makes an interesting pattern with a fork!)

Surround with crackers.   Your Editor's favorite store-bought ones are Mary's Gone Crackers -- they come in many flavors, all whole grain and gluten free. 

This is great on corn chips too, stuffed in celery or spread on carrot chips or slices of cucumber!   

Or make hearty sandwiches on rye bread with lettuce, sliced tomato, mustard and onion.  

Made too much?  Freeze some to enjoy later!

Happy Hanukkah Everyone!

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* See the Space Alien Signature Apron here:
https://www.cafepress.com/sagbazaar.88916745
The Space Alien says this sturdy apron with its large pockets will keep you tidy in the kitchen too!  
Like all Space Alien gear from Cafe Press, profits go to the Greater Chicago Food Depository to feed the hungry!

(If you don't need an apron you can still donate to the Greater Chicago Food Depository at  https://www.chicagosfoodbank.org)    

**NOTE:  For this recipe your editor is indebted to her friend Daila Shefner who found it many years ago in an American Heart Association cookbook.  We've made small changes to make it even more oil-free, made the "cosmetic" egg white optional, and added a few other options.  This is a forgiving recipe so feel free to make your own changes.   It goes so fast the Space Alien usually doubles the recipe!

The Space Alien's Thanksgiving Soup

The Space Alien, carrying a huge soup tureen, arrived at the Space Alien Gazette's gleaming test kitchen, where preparations were underway for a gala Thanksgiving dinner.   

"I just returned from a special intergalactic mission," said the Space Alien, and I did not have much time to prepare.  But my friend Carol D'Anca sent me her recipe for a delicious butternut squash soup! I know everyone will love it! Butternut squash is one of my favorites!"

https://www.foodnotmeds.com/roasted-butternut-squash-soup/

"I love butternut squash too," said your editor, dipping a clean spoon in for a taste, "and this soup is SO delicious!  It must have taken you HOURS!"  

"No," answered the Space Alien, "it was really quick and easy! And all of Carol D'Anca's recipes are healthful too. You can find lots of her recipes and other valuable information here:  https://www.foodnotmeds.com."

"Well it's delicious and everyone will love it!" said Your Editor carrying the tureen to the already groaning table.

And everyone did!!

All of us here in the busy editorial offices of the Space Alien Gazette wish our loyal readers a healthy and happy Thanksgiving!

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Loyal Readers will also enjoy Carol D'Anca's book "Real Food for Healthy People."   It's full of recipes that are easy, delicious and, best of all, healthful!  Scroll all the way down for a link to it or find it directly at www.Amazon.com or www.barnesandnoble.com.

Newer readers may enjoy these earlier Thanksgiving Posts:

2016: http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/11/the-space-alien-observes-thanksgiving.html

2017: http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/11/the-space-aliens-thanksgiving-feast.html

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The Space Alien Dances with the Joffrey Ballet

Your Editor found the Space Alien in the living room wearing electric blue tights and doing barre exercises at a towel rack placed in front of a large mirror.

(Unfortunately no camera was handy to record this scene so Loyal Readers will simply have to imagine it for themselves. )

"Hallowe'en is almost here," said Your Editor.  "Have you thought about your costume this year?"

The Space Alien completed a graceful plié and turned to Your Editor.  

"I've had no time for that," said the Space Alien.  "I've been asked to understudy for a ballerina at the famous Joffrey Ballet in Chicago -- she sprained her little toe and may not be able to dance -- so I only have a short time to learn her part in Swan Lake."  

"Well, that's certainly exciting and a tribute to your talent," said Your Editor, "but you are post-gender, so how will you handle this traditionally female role?"

"I practiced very hard to be a believable swan," answered the Space Alien," and as you can see by this poster they made in case I'm called to perform, I more than succeeded!" 

"You certainly are believable in the role" said Your Editor, "but will you be sad if the regular dancer recovers and you are not called?"

"I'll be a little disappointed," said the Space Alien, "but the important thing is the ballet itself!  I am thrilled to contribute to my art in any way, and there will be other opportunities I am sure!" 

"Your devotion is commendable," said Your Editor, "and maybe you can wear your lovely tutu to our Space Alien Gazette Hallowe'en party!"

"Say, that's a great idea," said the Space Alien, executing a graceful tour jeté across the room.   

So, Loyal Reader,  if you plan to attend the final Joffrey Ballet production of Swan Lake you may have a chance to experience the thrill of watching the Space Alien in the role of the graceful Swan!  

Otherwise, here is the poster with the regular performer -- and we are sure you would enjoy that performance as well!

Happy Hallowe'en!!!

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Note: A Loyal Reader reminds us that the Space Alien, no newcomer to classical ballet, played a crucial role last December involving reindeer dancing in the Joffrey Ballet's Nutcracker:  

http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/12/the-space-alien-helps-santa.html

The Space Alien Marches Again with the Women

The Space Alien was thrilled to march in the second Chicago Women's March on Saturday, October 13, 2018.  The weather was perfect and early reports indicated this March would be even larger than the one last year. 

Unfortunately Your Editor's broken bones were still rattling around loose, so she was not able to march this year.  But the Space Alien, a fearless and industrious reporter, covered this for the Space Alien Gazette.  

The Women's March to the Polls, not only encouraged women to get out the vote this year, but also facilitated early voting for those wishing to do so.    

From a convenient perch atop Chicago's Roosevelt University in the historic Auditorium Theatre Building, the Space Alien could Watch the marchers.    

The Space Alien Watches from atop the
Auditorium Theatre Building

(The historic Auditorium Theatre, designed by Louis Sullivan and Dankmar Adler over 125 years ago is one of the Space Alien's favorite places!)

The Space Alien Enjoys a Performance at the Auditorium Theatre

But today, seeing how many marchers were dressed for the occasion, the Space Alien went to the nearby "Voter Village, " quickly found a vendor with perfect outfitting for the March, and sent this exclusive selfie back to Your Editor.

The Space Alien Outfitted for the Womens March to the Polls

"How do you like my outfit?" asked the Space Alien, stopping in at Your Editor's house after the March.  "This tote bag is so handy for all my marching gear!  And the t-shirt and cap are simply ME!"

"Well, I guess since you are imaginary you won't be voting any time soon, so whenever you do it will be your first time," answered Your Editor, still somewhat glum about missing the March. 

"I know," said the Space Alien sadly.  "I'm not a citizen and I'm not even real -- but even if I'm imaginary I still have hopes and dreams!" 

"You're right," agreed Your Editor.  "I'm sad because I couldn't march today, and this had been among my hopes and dreams.  But now I need to move on and do what I can to get out the vote!"

The Space Alien nodded sadly and then brightened --- "Look at my pictures!  There were SO many people!  Maybe even more than last year!   I'm glad I went, and I marched twice as hard --  for you!'

"Thank you," said your Editor.  "Your being there was almost like being there myself!  So now let's have a look at your photos!" 

Chicago Women's March 2018 in Grant Park

Chicago Women's March 2018 at the 
Chicago Civic Center

###

The Space Alien Prepares for the New Year

Your Editor found the Space Alien reviewing back issues of the Space Alien Gazette.  

"What are you reading?" she asked.

"I'm reading our past Rosh Hashanah issues" answered the Space Alien, "and thinking about the past year and how we can make next year even better!" 

(And here, Loyal Reader, in case you missed it, is a link to one of the Space Alien's faves, the special Space Alien Gazette "Big Bang" issue of 2016:   
http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2016/09/a-new-year-for-space-alien.html)

"Now I must get back to my holiday baking," said the Space Alien, pointing to the braided challah dough on the kitchen table.   

"See, I've finished one loaf already!"  

"This round loaf reminds us of the cycles of seasons and years," said the Space Alien.  "I learned this and more about the foods of Rosh Hashanah, and got some recipes too, from one of our  competitors, the Huffington Post."
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/24/rosh-hashanah-table-spiritual-meaning_n_5871258.html

The Space Alien continued: "This special New Year holiday reminds me to do all I can to be a better, kinder, more helpful Space Alien in the coming year, and that's what I'll try to do!" 

"That's a good message for all of us!" exclaimed Your Editor.  "And our Loyal Readers may read more about this at: 
https://toriavey.com/what-is-rosh-hashanah/ "

This year Rosh Hashanah begins at sundown on Sunday, September 9.   Your Editor joins the Space Alien in dipping apple slices in honey and in wishing our Loyal Readers L'Shanah Tovah -- A Good Year, A Sweet Year!  

Special Labor Day 2018 Edition

Today is Labor Day and the Space Alien appreciates everyone whose work makes our country great.  

The Space Alien has excelled at many kinds of work and now serves as Star Reporter for the Space Alien Gazette.  

We hope on this Labor Day you will enjoy these exclusive photos from the Space Alien's personal album! 

Cowboy

"I cared for the animals and never let anyone eat them!"

Major League Baseball Player
"My stats were legendary!"

Fire Fighter
"I saved many lives!" 

We wish our Loyal Readers a happy and restful Labor Day!

The Space Alien Makes Secret Recordings

The Space Alien staggered into the insanely busy newsroom of the Space Alien Gazette carrying a huge reel-to-reel tape recorder and a bulky old-fashioned microphone.  

"What in the world is THAT?" asked Your Editor.

"I'll be making secret recordings of all my interactions from now on," answered the Space Alien, still trying to catch a breath.   "Everyone is doing it these days and I want to keep in step!"

"But that huge old-fashioned equipment isn't going to be invisible!" exclaimed your editor. "How will you make secret recordings?"

"I've thought of that!" answered the Space Alien.  "I'm learning to hypnotize people so they won't even know it's there!"

The Space Alien picked up a book from a large stack of works on hypnosis.  "If you repeat the same lie over and over enough times lots of people think it's the truth!  Some people call this a form of mass hypnosis.  It makes sense to me, so I'll just hypnotize people by repeating 'there is no recording equipment here; there is no recording equipment here' over and over again!"  

"No!" cried Your Editor.  "You can't just say something that isn't true over and over and expect people to believe it!"

"Oh yes!" insisted the Space Alien.  "That seems to be working with a lot of people these days!" 

And with that, the Space Alien scurried out the door with the heavy tape recorder and microphone.  You may not run into the Space Alien making secret recordings, but if you hear others repeating false statements over and over and find a lot of people believing them, you'll know others have been successfully using the same techniques!   

The Space Alien Writes a Novel

Your Editor found the Space Alien furiously writing with a Waterman fountain pen filled with Sanford's Royal Violet ink.

She waited for the Space Alien to pause before she spoke.

"What are you doing?"  She asked.

"I'm writing a novel," said the Space Alien.  "It's a political thriller and I'm sure it will be a bestseller!"

"It looks like purple prose," said Your Editor, "but what's it about?" 

"Can you keep it a secret?" asked the Space Alien.

"Certainly!" agreed Your Editor.  

"My novel is about the leader of the most powerful country on Earth, yet one giving every appearance of being a semi-literate, divisive, habitual liar who, ignoring the advice of his expert advisors, becomes a slavish toady to the thuggish, murderous head of a third rate dictatorship!   

"Oh my goodness," said Your Editor, "you'll never find a publisher for that!"

"Why not?" asked the Space Alien.  "This novel will have intrigue and danger, and lots of exciting twists and turns!"

"But it makes absolutely no sense!" cried Your Editor.  "Do you know who Mark Twain is?"

"Of course I do!" said the Space Alien.  "Huckleberry Finn is one of my favorite books!"

"Well Mark Twain said words to the effect that the difference between truth and fiction was that fiction has to make sense.*  But your story makes no sense at all.  No one would believe it and no one would buy it."

"Maybe you're right," said the Space Alien.  "I'll write a romance novel instead about a character from Mars in love with another character from Venus!"

"Good," said Your Editor.  "That makes a LOT more sense than what you have here and would surely be a bestseller."

       ------------------------------------------------

*Note to Loyal Readers: Words to this effect have been frequently attributed to Mark Twain, and this theme has been discussed in several venues; these are just a few examples:

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2015/07/15/truth-stranger/

http://semanticabyss.blogspot.com/2009/02/difference-between-truth-and-fiction-is.html

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/160206-the-only-difference-between-reality-and-fiction-is-that-fiction

 Your Editor thinks the exact expression may in fact have been from one of her own favorite authors,  Leo Rosten:  http://quotationsbook.com/quote/39963/

However, since it appears that Mark Twain said something along the same lines and considering that he is one of the Space Alien's faves, we'll leave it stet!

Here again, the Space Alien Gazette is your most reliable source for alternative facts!

The Space Alien Gazette is Two Years Old!

Your Editor walked into the gleaming kitchen of the Space Alien Gazette and found the Space Alien putting the finishing touches on a beautiful cake.  

"What are you doing?" asked Your Editor.  

"Today is the SECOND BIRTHDAY of the Space Alien Gazette" answered the Space Alien, "and we must celebrate it properly!"

Two Candles and One to Grow On!

"But why three candles?" asked Your Editor.

"That's two plus one to grow on!" answered the Space Alien.  "And for the good luck that we need in this highly competitive world of modern journalism!"

"It wasn't just luck," observed Your Editor, opening a file drawer full of photos.  "We've earned our reputation for hard-hitting, up to the minute reporting that our Loyal Readers expect, in the tradition of these great journalists!" 

A Few of Many Great Journalists

"I thought this would be a great spread for our Special Birthday Issue" continued Your Editor.  These are just a few of the great journalists we admire here at the Space Alien Gazette!**  But there are so many more!" 

"To honor them all we must continue to offer the hard hitting, up-to-the-minute news our Loyal Readers expect and deserve!" agreed the Space Alien.

"Let's have a nice Kombucha toast to that," said Your Editor, "with a slice of that beautiful cake!"

And they did!

Dear Loyal Reader:  The Space Alien Gazette began publication on July 1, 2016.  To enjoy these early issues please visit www.SpaceAlienGazette.com.

**How many of the great journalists in the picture above do you know?  They are Horace Greeley, Bob Woodward, Carl Bernstein, Anderson Cooper, W.E.B. DuBois, Dan Rather, Walter Lippmann, Truman Capote, Gordon Parks, Andrea Mitchell, Fredrick Douglass, Walter Cronkite, Seymour Hersh, Edward R. Murrow, Nelly Bly, Mike Wallace, Mike Royko, Oprah Winfrey, Barbara Walters, and of course, The Space Alien!   Google their names to learn more!

This is not an exhaustive list and many more brave and talented journalists should have been included but the Space Alien accidentally spilled kombucha into a file drawer full of photos and we could not clean them up in time to meet our deadline.  We regret these omissions!

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The Space Alien Aspires to Join the Supremes

Your Editor found the Space Alien in the Space Alien Gazette cloakroom wearing a black robe and posing in front of a full length mirror.

"What in the world!" she cried!

"I'm trying on this judicial robe," said the Space Alien "because I'm going to join the United States Supreme Court and I want to be properly dressed!"

The Space Alien Models Judicial Robe

"You cannot do that!" said Your Editor. "You are not properly qualified, plus you do not even exist!  You are imaginary!"

"This may be true," grumbled the Space Alien, "but I know right from wrong, which may be more than some of these justices do!"

"What do you mean?" asked Your Editor.  

"Just read this!" yelled the Space Alien, angrily waving a copy of an advance sheet with the Opinion in Trump v. Hawaii (and here, Loyal Reader, you may read it as well):

https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/17pdf/17-965_h315.pdf

Or in the news, for example: 
https://www.cnn.com/2018/06/26/politics/travel-ban-supreme-court/index.html


"The dissenting view, that this 'travel ban' against people from certain countries was in fact religious discrimination, made more sense than the majority opinion," said the Space Alien, adding modestly: "if I had been on the Supreme Court I most certainly could have persuaded the others to stop this travesty!"

Then the Space Alien pulled out a slightly edited picture, saying: "This is what the Supreme Court SHOULD look like!"

Space Alien's Suggested Supreme Court Portrait

"Well it doesn't, and it won't be, and I'm just as sad as you are!" said your Editor, "so get out of that black robe and put on your green eyeshade and get back to work!  Our best hope to save Democracy is a vigorous, independent press, and that is what we strive to be here at the Space Alien Gazette!"

The Space Alien Back at Work
Defending your Right to Know!
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BREAKING NEWS -- June 28, 2018: Shortly after this edition went to press, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced his retirement.  

The Space Alien will not seek to fill this vacancy personally, but urges all Loyal Readers to call their United States Senators urging them to wait until AFTER the upcoming midterm elections in November to consider candidates for this important position. The Capitol Switchboard at 202-224-3121 will help you reach your U.S. Senators.  

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The Space Alien Responds to a Man-Made Disaster of the ICE Age

Your Editor found the Space Alien hunched over a typewriter working hard on a story for the National News section of the Space Alien Gazette.

"I'm writing about the horrible things happening to children at the U.S.-Mexican border," said the Space Alien.  "Have a  look at my copy so far."

You Editor gasped when she saw these words:

"The President, who infests the White House, met with members of the Congressional leadership who infest the Capitol, and with members of his Cabinet who infest buildings throughout Washington, D.C." 

"You can't write this!" said Your Editor.   "You cannot use the word 'infest' with respect to human beings!"   She picked up a dictionary and opened it.  "Just look; 'infest' only applies to insects or animals!"

"But the President used this word for human beings so I thought I could do that too!" complained the Space Alien.

"No," said Your Editor.  "If humans do not obey the law we have procedures to deal with that, but they were not followed here.  And these families trying to keep their children safe are human beings deserving full respect for their humanity."

The Space Alien reached for an eraser - -"I'm going to correct this, but I want to help these families and especially the children!"  

Your Editor said: "We'll run information on how our Loyal Readers can help!"

"That's a wonderful idea!" said the Space Alien.  "No child deserves this treatment!"

And with that, the Space Alien put on an appropriate cap, packed a first aid kit and some favorite toys, and traveling at tachyonic velocities exceeding the speed of light, quickly reached the children to care for them, cheer them and comfort them.

While the Space Alien is away on this important mission, here are ideas for Loyal Readers who would also like to help!  

RAICES Family Unification and Bond Fund

https://www.texastribune.org/2018/06/18/heres-list-organizations-are-mobilizing-help-separated-immigrant-child

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/06/20/where-to-donate-to-help-immigrant-children-and-families-at-the-border.html

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The Space Alien Visits Machu Picchu

Your Editor was working against an unforgiving deadline to finish a new Space Alien Gazette post for our Loyal Readers, but the Space Alien was nowhere in sight!   What to do?  How could important news be printed without the star reporter?

Suddenly the Space Alien appeared, carrying a heavy oxygen tank!  

"Where have you been, and why are you carrying that oxygen tank?" asked Your Editor.

"I've just returned from the fabulous ruins of Machu Picchu in Peru," answered the Space Alien.  "I'm working on an exciting new article for our Travel Section!  The view was magnificent, but at altitudes of 8,000 feet above sea level I could hardly breathe, so I needed this!"

"I took some fantastic pictures," continued the Space Alien, "but the authorities noticed me.  Since I'm imaginary, I have no passport, and I was afraid they would arrest me!"

"You certainly were in danger!" exclaimed Your Editor, "so what did you do?"

"Luckily a nice tourist saw how sad and frightened I was and offered to bring me home!" answered the Space Alien.  "By remarkable coincidence my rescuer was a Loyal Reader of the Space Alien Gazette.  She said this beautiful pottery bowl was a gift for you!  She was thrilled to meet me, and she hid me inside this beautiful bowl for the flight home!"

"You were lucky!" said Your Editor,  "The authorities might have taken you away forever if they had found you!"

"NO!" cried the Space Alien!  "I've heard about unspeakable things like this happening to little children, and I'm so grateful be here with you now!"

"So am I," said Your Editor. "My friend was so kind and so brave to bring you home safely,  and the bowl is indeed beautiful.  But how did you manage to fit inside?"

"No problem," answered the Space Alien.  "When you are imaginary, size is relative!  You should try it sometime!"

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The Space Alien Gives Your Editor a Birthday Gift

As Your Editor woke up to yet another birthday, it seemed to her as if she'd had one just yesterday!  "Why do my birthdays seem to come so thick and fast these days?"  she wondered.

Then she noticed a beautifully wrapped gift box!
And there was the Space Alien, smiling happily!


"It's your birthday so I got you a gift!" said the Space Alien.  "I hope you like it!"


Your Editor quickly opened it and found a stuffed toy bearing remarkable resemblance to the Space Alien!

She gave stuffed toy a hug and turned to the Space Alien:  "This is amazing!" she cried.  "Why, it even looks something like you!"

"Oh, I'm probably much better looking," answered the Space Alien modestly, "but see, it's a handy neck pillow because sometimes you tell me that I'm a 'pain in the neck' and this could help!"

"It will certainly come in handy," said Your Editor, "But how did you buy it?"

"Well, you know I am imaginary and can't get my own credit card, so I used yours.  But I COULD have gotten a LOT more money!"

"Really?  How?" asked Your Editor.

"A highly placed individual offered me LOT of money for 'insights' into how you make decisions about stories in the Space Alien Gazette!  I think this individual wanted me to influence you in some way, and I could have gotten a LOT of money for that!"

"You didn't accept that, did you?" asked Your Editor, horrified at the thought.

"Of course not!" answered the Space Alien.  "I make all of these decisions anyway!  You just get the grammar and spelling and punctuation right -- at least you do most of the time.  But we both want the Space Alien Gazette to observe the very highest standards of journalistic integrity, and no amount of money could change that!"

"I'm so proud of you!" exclaimed Your Editor.  "Your kindness and integrity are the very best birthday gifts of all!"

The Space Alien gave a happy nod of acknowledgment, and then scurried back into the kitchen, emerging with an enormous birthday cake!

"Happy Birthday!  I made this cake for you early this morning!"

"It's beautiful!" cried Your Editor.  "Your cakes are legendary and they are always so delicious!  But why just three candles?"

"Well, we almost burned the house down with all those candles last year, so this year I'm playing it safe!" answered the Space Alien.

"I guess you're right," said Your Editor.  "At my age I suppose it's safety first!"

"Your words, not mine," murmured the Space Alien, scurrying to bring plates and forks, as well as some lovely flowers.  "But now let's sing 'Happy Birthday' and enjoy a nice piece of cake!"

And they did!

Editor's Note: The Space Alien's gifts last year were well-documented. If you have not already read that post, the Space Alien highly recommends doing so now at: http://spacealiengazette.blogspot.com/2017/05/the-space-alien-celebrates-your-editors.html

Birthday Flowers!
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