Meeting The Space Alien's Nutritional Needs

The Space Alien is deeply interested in nutrition but can only speak authoritatively about this from personal experience.  For countless eons, the Space Alien did not appear to have any discernible source of nutrition.  Perhaps someday the mystery of how the Space Alien survived so long in this condition will be solved, but it is clear that for a long time the Space Alien truly craved a nosh!

Friendly Ferns Taught the
Space Alien to Photosynthesize

This situation was somewhat resolved millions of years ago during the Carboniferous Period of the Paleozoic Era, when Friendly Ferns taught the Space Alien how to photosynthesize, converting beams of sunlight and even starlight into nutritious, if not particularly delicious, meals.

During those years the Space Alien's beautiful dentition was regarded simply as personal adornment having no utilitarian function, and the Space Alien was deeply grateful to be able to depend upon personal photosynthesis to fill a growing appetite.

For Naughty Children

But these Friendly Ferns were burdened by many pressures not only during but also after their lives.  It saddened the Space Alien to see the helpful plants that so generously shared their secrets of turning light into nourishment become lumps of coal to be viewed with disappointment and even derision by naughty children on Christmas morning.

For Happy Brides

This sadness was fortunately somewhat relieved when the Space Alien found the Friendly Ferns of bygone days transformed into sparkling gems on the fingers of happy brides.

The Space Alien Cares

Today, while the Space Alien's lovely dentition is frequently put to practical use, photosynthesis remains an important, if mysterious, means by which the Space Alien's nutritional needs are satisfied, and the Friendly Ferns of yesteryear are always recalled with gratitude.